


Someone Like You

by RandomFangirl_SQ



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, Completely AU, F/F, Moderate amount of angst, With a SQ happy ending, no magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:21:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21626527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomFangirl_SQ/pseuds/RandomFangirl_SQ
Summary: Regina and Emma have been separated for 7 years due to fears and miscommunications. Emma left, but Regina never stopped looking for her. 7 years later, they finally reunite. But is it too late for the couple?Ps. The answer is no. It's not too late. Spoiler, but I'm a sucker for a happy SQ ending.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68





	1. Finding Emma

“Regina! I found her!” Katerine went running into Regina’s office completely out of breath. She had important information to share with her friend and it could not wait. 

Regina looked up from her paperwork completely unamused with her friend. “Katherine, what have I told you about disrupting me while I am working?” She adjusted her glasses and went back to her work. Yes her friend was far more interesting than the paperwork that awaited her, but if she didn’t do it now, she never would. Besides, she was at work, actually working was the least she could do. 

“Yeah, yeah, but you will want to hear this, I promise. You will be thanking me once you hear who I found!”

“Who are you talking about?” Still not taking her eyes off of her paperwork. She hoped if she conveyed to her friend how uninterested she was, she would take the hint and leave.

“I found the woman of your dreams Regina! Who you’ve been looking for!”

“Katherine, I don’t know how many times I’ve told you. I already met the woman of my dreams. I was a fool and I let her go. There has been no one else since Emma Nolan and there never will be. She was the love of my life and I just let her go..” Her paperwork clearly discarded she got up from her desk to grab a tissue. Even after all these years, the pain was raw. So raw that just talking about Emma caused her to burst into tears. That really said something. Regina Mills never cries, much less cries in front of others, even her best friend. She dabbed the tissue at the corner of her eyes while she slowly shook her head in regret. She had everything. Everything she ever wanted, and she let it slip through her fingers. “Katherine, please stop trying to set me up with random women. They aren’t Emma, it’s never going to work.”

“Regina! Stop talking and listen. I found _Emma!_ ” It wasn’t until Katherine shoved the newspaper into Regina’s face that she noticed the other woman came barging into her office with a paper in her hand. 

Katherine couldn’t hold her excitement for Regina to finish reading. She barely held it together from when she first read the paper at her apartment. She couldn’t get out of her house fast enough, she ran the whole way to Regina. Sure it left her a sweating mess, but the news was urgent. “It’s Emma. She’s Sheriff of this small town called Storybrooke. Apparently there was a building on fire and Emma ran in _multiple_ times to save children trapped inside. It's made national news. See her picture? It’s her!”

Regina was in awe of the image in front of her. It was the first time she saw the love of her life in 7 years, even if it was just an image. She had nothing but her memories and photographs that hurt too much to view to remind her of the woman who held her heart. A huge smile graced her lips as she thought of Emma. Apparently she was still the ever so selfless woman that she had always been. Running into a building on fire, multiple times? She could think of no one other than Emma Nolan to do so. She truly was a white knight. 

“Regina?” Kathrine gently pulled Regina out of her thoughts. She knew how thinking of Emma could get dark and fast, so she needed to redirect Regina. She had a woman she needed to go find!

Regina finally tore her eyes away from the newspaper that she clutched as if it were a life source. “What does this mean? What do I do? I go right? I have to go to Storybrooke.” The questions were posed to Katherine, but in reality, she forgot the other woman was even in the room. She started pacing by her desk as she soaked up this new information. 

Katherine walked up to Regina and grabbed her arms, forcing her to stop pacing and pay attention. “Of course you have to go! You’ve been waiting for this moment for years!”

Regina just nodded her head. Yes, she would go to Storybrooke. She would find Emma and she would fix everything. There was only one matter to figure out first, “where is Storybrooke?”

“I don’t know. Let’s look it up.” Katherine ushered them over to where her laptop laid open. One quick search and they had their answer. Apparently Storybrooke was only a 6-hour drive away. She shook her head in disbelief. The love of her life was only 6 hours away from her. She was under her nose this entire time. 

“How could she be so close, and we never found her? We searched so hard back then!” Apparently Katherine had similar thoughts to hers. 

“I’m not sure… Wait, look at the story again. There it is. Emma Swan. She changed her name. That must be why we never found Emma Nolan. But why would she change her name?” It was then that Regina’s fears resurfaced. There were plenty of reasons why Emma could have changed her name, but one, in particular, stood out to her. She couldn’t get passed it. She paled at the thought. “ Katherine! What if she is married?”

“Hey, stop. You literally have no pieces of the puzzle right now. Don’t go jumping to conclusions. Even if she is married you still need to go. You’ve always said how many times you wish you could beg her for her forgiveness. This is your chance. You both deserve this, even if it just is closure.”

Regina had to compose herself. She waited for this moment for years, her fears wouldn’t hold her back from Emma again. She vowed that her fears would _never_ again keep her from her happiness- and her happiness was Emma - that much she was sure of. “You’re right. I have to go. Can you handle my cases? I only have two right now, but I really need to go..”

“Regina, of course! Go! Pack a bag and head to Storybrooke. It’s been 7 years, I don’t think you need to waste any more time!” She didn’t know how she deserved a friend like Katherine. The woman had been her rock for years. The only person that kept her from drowning and helped her pick up her broken pieces after she made the mistake that made her lose the love of her life. 

Regina frantically looked around her desk trying to decide what she needed. “Right yes of course.” There was nothing for her here, for what she needed most was waiting for her in Storybrooke. Or at least she hoped. She collected her purse and started to walk right out the door. 

“Bye! Hurry up and get out of here, I will lock everything up for you!”

Just as the door clicked shut, Katherine saw Regina appear again in the office. “Regina what now?” She really hoped it wasn’t more fear. She didn’t know what else she could tell her friend to get her to go. At this point, she was ready to kidnap the brunette and drive her to Storybrooke herself. Regina never forgave herself for letting Emma go. And as Regina’s best friend, there was absolutely no way she was allowing Regina to waste this opportunity. 

“I just needed to say thank you. For everything Katherine. Really I don’t know what I would do without you!” She quickly hugged the woman and hurried to the door she had just exited. 

“You’re welcome. Now seriously, get out of here!”

“Alright, I’m going!” Without turning around Regina held a hand in the air to wave her friend goodbye. There was no time to waste. 

As she ran into her house and started packing her bag, a series of thoughts plagued the brunette. _This seriously can’t be happening right now._ She didn’t know what to think, how to feel. So many conflicting thoughts and feelings passed through her like a tornado. She was a lone tree trying her hardest to stay standing as the winds rushed beside her. She was scared. How would Emma react to her just barging into her life after all of these years? Would she be mad? Happy? Did she miss her even a fraction of how much Regina missed her? Being away from Emma was like living without a heart in her chest. She let the other woman walk away with her heart. Not that Emma having her heart was the problem, no, the problem was that she was a coward and let her go. What if Emma was fine without her? It hurt too much to think of Emma, but when she did, she often let the fond memories be replaced with feelings of self-hatred. She had everything. She was as happy as she could be. But she didn’t hold onto that happiness. Emma was always a bright shining light. The woman had so much darkness in her life, yet she summoned others to her with her radiance like a lighthouse guiding lost souls home. Surely someone had recognized how amazing Emma was by now. There had to be another by now. Yet there was a chance she didn’t. Regina knew she had to go either way. Katherine was right. They both deserved closure. But she couldn’t help that small pit in her heart from hoping for more. Hoping for Emma. Hoping for the love she lost and the love she could gain. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Regina was beyond tired. The last bit of energy she held was spent on taking her bags to her room. The bed was like a siren and she wanted nothing more to give into its call. But she couldn’t. Emma was here. Emma was only minutes away. Her years of waiting for this very moment gave her the surge of energy she needed to get out of her room and down to the diner below. She strutted up to the front desk fully intent on taking Granny’s offer for help. The old woman looked like a hub of information. 

“Hello?” She called out in front of the empty desk. After a minute or two, it became apparent that no one was coming. _No, bother. I can just ask a waitress. This is a small town, after all, I’m sure everyone knows Emma._

Finding a kind face behind the diner counter, she decided to approach the smiling waitress. The woman was gorgeous. Really gorgeous. A quick glance to her chest determined that this beautiful stranger’s name was Ruby. The name definitely fit with her red-streaked hair and her ruby red lipstick. She wasn’t her type- only one particular blonde was her type- but she was one to admire beauty when she saw it. 

Ruby on her part just smirked when she saw the stranger’s appreciative eyes. She waited a second to see what the brunette in front of her wanted, only she was met with more gawking and less talking than she expected. Ruby cleared her throat trying to get the stranger’s attention. “Hi, there! How can I help you?”

“Oh yes! Um, I am looking for Emma Nolan--Swan. I mean Emma Swan. Do you know where I can find her?” Regina internally berated herself with how shaky her voice sounded. This wasn’t her. She’s Regina Mills for crying out loud. Not exactly her proudest moments but she has made multiple grown men and women leave her office in tears. Regina Mills doesn’t fear anything. Except when it comes to Emma Swan, then apparently all bets are off. She pulled at her blazer pulling it back into place as if it wasn’t already perfectly placed. With the reminder of her armor, she regained her confidence. _I just need to find Emma. Find Emma, and everything will be better. I can fix this. I’ve come this far._ She held her head high and gave Ruby a bright confident smile.

The woman in front of her didn’t seem dangerous, but coming from her past she couldn’t be too cautious. “That depends. Who is asking?” Besides Sophia, there was no one Ruby was more protective of. She didn’t want to send a crazy onto the Sheriff. Plus she was naturally a gossip, so the more intel she got the better. 

“My name is Regina Mills. I am an old friend of Emma’s”

Any trace of hospitality that Ruby held completely faded as she took in the stranger’s name. Except she wasn’t such a stranger. “Friend?” She knew exactly who Regina was. She heard about her on a few occasions. Usually only when Emma was really upset. Emma never really talked about the stuff that _really_ hurt her, so she knew that Regina was trouble. “Yeah right. You have some nerve coming here. Leave Emma alone she is happy and she sure as hell don’t need you coming here and ruining that.” She walked right out of the diner in search of the woman in question. Yes, Granny would have her head later for leaving in the middle of the shift, but once she told her why she would understand. She had to warn Emma. She had to get to Emma. 

What Ruby didn’t count on was the busy-body Mary Margret overhearing the conversation. There was no one like Mary Margret or MM as she was often called, in Storybrooke. Although it wasn’t too much of a compliment. The woman had to have her nose in other people’s business. She held an air of superiority around herself as if she knew what was best for everyone - even if she only knew part of the story. This is why she had no problem turning to Regina, “Don’t mind Ruby. Emma is probably at home right now since it is so late. Why don’t you stop by the Sheriff's station tomorrow morning? She should be there around 7 a.m.!”  
“Oh, thank you very much.” As Regina turned around to take that nap after all, she was stopped by Mary Margret’s hand gripping onto her arm. 

“The Sheriff station is two streets over and on the left. If you pass by Storybrooke Elementary then you’ve gone too far.”

“Again, thank you.” Regina shook her head as she took in the woman before her. She wouldn’t be too pleased if there was someone like her back home all too willing to give information like that to a complete stranger. She was surprised that the woman didn’t just give her Emma’s home address. Only a minute in her presence and she already knew she disliked the woman with her pixie cut and grandma looking clothing. Truly the woman managed to look like a child and a senior citizen at the same time. But at least she was useful. 

Her mind became completely clear of everything as soon as her head hit the pillow. Tomorrow she would fix everything with Emma. But for now? Now she needed her rest. She soon drifted off into a pleasant slumber. She dreamt of the woman she would soon see. As she recalled memories of the love they shared, she slept with a huge smile on her face. Everything would work itself out. It just had to. 


	2. Where it all Went Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Emma finally reunite.

Regina made her way down to the station the next morning, finding it quite easily with MaryMarget’s instructions. She froze for a moment outside of the glass door. There she was. Sitting down at her desk apparently filling out paperwork while also rocking out to some music. At least she hoped that the woman was actually listening to music. This was the moment she had been waiting for for years, and all she had to do was open the door. 

_You can do this. It is just Emma._ Regina reached for the handle letting herself in. It was now or never. Besides, it was just Emma, the woman with who she felt the safest with. The woman who has held her heart for all these years. Just Emma. 

Her previous assumption about Emma listening to music was proven correct as she realized the woman didn’t notice her entrance. The music must have drowned out the sound of the door opening and closing. Regina slightly cleared her throat, “Hello Sheriff.” 

“Regina.” Emma's eyes went wide as she took in the woman in front of her. The woman who looked just as good today as she did all those years ago. The woman she could never stop loving. Regina. It was all she could say. Of course, she knew that Regina was in town. Ruby ran all the way from the diner to tell her so. But hearing about the woman in question to actually seeing her? Well, it took her back 7 years ago before everything went to hell. Standing before her was _her_ Regina. Her favorite person in the entire world. 

Regina couldn’t believe that she was finally seeing Emma again after all of these years. The face she longed to see above all else was standing before her. She wanted to reach out and pull the woman into a fierce hug. She was about to do so until she realized there was a young girl shielding Emma from her advances. 

As she took in the young brunette she was about to ask Emma who she was. The kid looked familiar. Those brown eyes called out to her, but she couldn’t place them. She continued to look at the child quizzically until the young girl in question spoke up. 

“Stay away from my Ma! You hurt her. You don’t get to talk to her anymore!”

Emma was quickly brought out of her trip down memory lane by Soph’s outburst. She thought she saw a shadow by the stairs when Ruby was informing her about Storybrooke’s latest guest. Sophia has always been an intuitive little girl. She was not surprised at all that the young girl would quickly figure out who Regina was and try to protect Emma from her. The act warmed her heart, even if it was a bit misguided. 

“Soph. That is not how we talk to people! I know your mother and I have raised you better than that. Go to the diner, I will meet you there in a bit.” Emma hated having to punish Soph, but she wouldn’t let the little girl go around talking to people like that, even if she was just trying to protect her. She knew that Soph could easily get to the diner on her own. It was less than a five-minute walk. Storybrooke was a small town, practically everyone babysat all of the kids. She didn’t bat an eyelash at the thought, though if she were back in New York- she would have never allowed it. But it was part of the perks of living in a small town. 

Regina on her part couldn’t ignore the scene in front of her. She had her suspicions about Ruby, about how defensive she was over Emma. But she had just chalked that up to her being a good friend. Now it was painfully crystal clear. Emma was married. Emma was with Ruby and they had a child together. The girl was a complete copy of Ruby, and she called Emma Ma! She was too late. Her worst fears were confirmed. She ruined everything and Emma had moved on without her. But what could she expect? She broke Emma’s heart 7 years ago. What else was she supposed to do, besides move on? No, she had no one to blame for this but herself.

“Regina, what are you doing here?” Emma still couldn’t believe this was happening. The woman she thought she would never see again was standing right in front of her. How she had spent so many days wishing that Regina would come and find her. But she moved on. It was about 6 years too late. Eventually, she gave up hope, she gave herself a reality check that Regina was never going to come for her. Except now here she was. Standing right in front of her to be exact. 

“Emma, I’ve been looking for you. Can we talk?” She put on her lawyer face. The face that told everyone that everything was alright, even if she didn’t believe that herself. Of course, she wanted to go back to her hotel room and cry her heart out, but she couldn’t just _show_ that to Emma. She would save the tears for later. She just ignored the aching in her chest as she felt her already wounded heart crumble into pieces. It was fine. She was fine. So she tucked everything away for later and smiled at Emma like she didn’t have a care in the world. 

“Talk? After everything you want to talk?” So she was still bitter. It wasn’t her fault. She wasn’t the one who left. Well she _was technically,_ but that was because of Regina. Regina was the one who gave up on them. Who so quickly threw away everything they had. She never got an apology. Never heard from her again since _that_ day. So yes, she was still a little bitter. She was only human. 

“Emma, please. Please, can we just sit down somewhere? I want to explain everything.” Emma wanted to say no. Everything in her screamed at her to say no. But seeing the tears in Regina’s eyes? Hearing her beg her just for an opportunity to talk? How could she say no to that? Emma had spent years repairing the walls that Regina so easily crashed down within her. But within minutes she was putty in the other woman’s hands again. She once told Regina that she would do anything for her. Turns out that statement rang true 7 years later too. 

“Sure. I’ll take my lunch early. I know a place where we can talk.” She held the door open for Regina, silently gesturing that she should follow. 

The two walked down Mainstreet together. It really should have been awkward. They were apart for 7 years and had a huge confrontation between them. Yet it wasn’t bad at all. It was exactly how it used to be. It was as if they were back home on their way to study together at the library. Neither of the busy ladies had time for proper dates. So library dates were their go-to. It was special. The library became their spot. 

_This could be worse._ Regina’s hand nearly reached out to entwine her fingers with Emmas. Until she remembered she wasn’t allowed to do that anymore. Part of her was drowning with the confirmation she received earlier about Emma’s life. But she knew that was a possibility. She had prepared herself for the worst-case scenario, and here they were. Regina and Emma, but not _Regina and Emma._ Part of her was happy for Emma. Emma’s happiness was all she ever wanted. But it didn’t stop her from wishing she was in Ruby’s shoes either.

At the very least this meeting would allow the two the closure that they deserved. But Regina was hoping for more. If friendship was all she could get out of Emma, she would be happy to have just that. 

She was getting lost in her thoughts so she decided it was a time for conversation. She could drown in the what-could-have-been thoughts later. “I heard about the fire. You were very brave. Reckless. But brave nonetheless.”

Emma chucked at that. “It was nothing. They needed help and I was there. I am the Sheriff after all.” Hearing Regina call her actions reckless didn’t anger her like she thought it would. She always loved Regina’s nagging. It meant that she cared. _Does she still care now though?_

It was Regina’s turn to laugh. With a fond smile on her face, she looked at Emma, “always so modest. I don’t believe that it is the Sheriff’s duty to run into burning buildings, now is it?” 

She couldn’t help but fall back into their playful banter. “Alright, so I was a bit of a badass. What can I say? It's part of my charm” _What am I doing. Am I flirting with her? Really Swan, after all this time, you just go right back into place, don’t you?_ She hoped that it didn’t seem too flirty to Regina.

 _That was definitely flirting._ Regina smiled at the thought. It seemed that they were back to their old ways. The smile was quickly wiped off her face as her brain quickly reminded her of the scene she saw earlier. Emma with her daughter. Emma with the daughter she shared with another woman. The thought quickly sobered her up.

“Here we are.” Regina was brought out of her musings as Emma motioned towards her. They stood before a quaint bench that sat at the pier. It was beautiful really. She took a minute just to take it all in. Closing her eyes she breathed in the smell of the ocean. As she opened her eyes she was calmed by the gentle waves before her. With Emma by her side, she couldn't think of a more relaxing spot. 

The tranquility soon left her as she saw the pain on Emma’s face. Seven years later and the pain on Emma’s face was identical to the pain of _that night._ “Why? I just want to know why. We talked about why you couldn’t go. But you never really told me why.”

Regina took hold of Emma’s hand into her own. It really wasn’t her place anymore, but she couldn’t help herself either. She needed something to ground her, and no one kept her more grounded than the woman before her. “I was scared. As much as I wanted to go with you - and I _really, really,_ wanted to go with you- I was too scared. I wasn’t like you. I never lived on my own. As much as I wanted to escape my mother, escape our town, I couldn’t. It was all I ever knew and you - you were so experienced in life. I felt like a child running away.”

\------------------------------ FLASH BACK-------------------------------

Just as any other day Regina and Emma were both in Regina’s apartment. It was quite the usual for the pair to be together. Yet today wasn’t like every other day. Today Cora found out about the relationship they kept hidden from her for three years. The women had met their freshman year at college and had been inseparable since. The love between them was apparent to everyone except Cora Mills. They chose to keep their relationship a secret for Cora would never approve of their union. But neither Regina nor Emma cared for Cora’s approval, they had each other and that is all that they needed. The secrecy only secured that they could both finish their schooling and finally leave their small town-especially Cora behind. But today, today was different. 

“Emma, how can you be calm? My mother just found out about us. She threatened me. She threatened you!” Regina was furiously pacing in her bedroom. She couldn’t keep still. Thoughts were racing within her head faster than she could track. The pacing it helped. As if keeping her body moving would help with the movement going on in her head. 

Regina couldn’t comprehend how calm Emma was being. The woman got up from the couch and slowly approached Regina. She made her approach as one would do to get near a scared animal. No sudden movements, but still clear and confident in the approach. She grabbed Regina’s face with both of her palms forcing her to stop her pacing and face the blonde in front of her. “Regina, don’t you see it? This is our chance to finally get out of here. I have no doubt that your mother will get me kicked out of school. But I don’t care. I didn’t mention it before because there was no need to, but I applied to schools in other states. Regina, there is a school in New York that offered me a full ride! We can get out of here. You can finish your internship at a law firm in New York. You were always saying how much you wanted to leave. So let’s leave. I never felt like I belonged here, the only thing that ever felt right was you, Regina.”

And in an instant, Regina’s fears were gone and she felt completely at ease. It truly was an amazing feat that only Emma Nolan was capable of achieving. With hopeful eyes she looked at her girlfriend, “We’ll do this, together?”

“There isn’t any other person I’d want by my side. It's you and me, Regina. It's always been you and me.” The statement could not be any truer. Shuffled between foster home to foster home, Emma never felt like she belonged. It wasn’t until she met the brunette during her freshman year of college that she felt like she had a home. Her home wasn’t a house but rather a person. Emma didn’t need much to be happy in this world, she only needed Regina by her side. This was their chance, their opportunity to finally leave their town and go explore the world. It was what they always dreamed about, and the moment was finally here. She was ready to take that jump she just needed Regina’s hand in hers before she did so. 

Regina’s million-dollar smile was all the confirmation that Emma needed. The two made plans to meet at the airport in two days. It was all so rash and spontaneous, but it was what made it so thrilling too. They didn’t want to wait another day to start their lives together.

Unbeknownst to Regina, Emma started to make plans for the pair. She had been wanting to do so for a while, but this new change held the perfect opportunity to do so. She had been saving up for a long time but she finally had enough. The ring was waiting for her, she had it picked out for months. She was going to pick it up before leaving tomorrow and then it could finally be where it was supposed to be, on Regina’s finger. 

Everything was great until Cora walked in on Regina packing. Regina never gave her mother a key to her apartment, yet somehow she had procured one. Cora had ranted on how it was her money that was paying for the apartment, that she should at least have access to it. When in reality it was a combination of Henry’s and Regina’s money that paid the rent, yet no one could correct Cora Mills. 

Regina was bent over packing her suitcase when she heard the last voice she would ever want to hear when she was in such a good mood. Sure enough, when she looked up she found her mother with quite the sneer on her face. “Really dear, you think I wouldn't know of your plan to run off with that little Street Rat?”

Regina stood her ground. She didn’t fear standing up to her mother for she wouldn’t have to deal with her in a day’s time. “I don’t need you Mother. I only need Emma, and if we go to New York we can be happy away from you.” Part of her was upset that she let their intended location slip, but really Cora would have found it. The woman had ways of finding everything out.

Cora let out a mirthless chuckle. “You don’t think I can control you from New York? How are you going to pay for an apartment? For food? For a plane ticket? You have no money, Regina.”

“I have the money Daddy left me!”

“Which is in my name.” Cora marched towards her daughter and gestured for her to have a seat on the bed. She ran the back of her hand against Regina’s face. The act could almost be mistaken as maternal had it come from anyone but Cora. “I have nothing against your precious Emma. I only loathe the fact that she is bringing you down. Leave her and I will leave your Emma alone. Isn’t that what you want?”

Regina quickly retreated from the soft touch. “Why are you doing this?!”

“Because Regina dear, you are meant for so much more. I am your mother, I only want what is best for you.” It was sickening how sweet Cora’s tone was. The voice was so soft yet coming from that mouth it was laced with poison. Cora was like a bad pastry, she could come off as sweet and desirable, yet one bite and you are left with nothing but regret. 

“Can’t you see that I want nothing to do with you, Mother?” Regina had enough. With the passing of her father, there was nothing keeping her here. She would leave with Emma and all would be well. 

It was then that Cora snapped. She stepped towards Regina and slapped her across the face. Regina held onto the cheek trying to soothe the pain. Cora’s slender finger roughly grabbed Regina by the chin forcing her to make eye contact. “I will destroy her. I got her kicked out of school here, and I can do so just as easily at any other school she goes to. I have connections, Regina. I will destroy every opportunity she has as long as you are with her. If you want to protect your precious Swan then you will leave her. Or are you that selfish for her love that you will stay with her and ruin her life?” With that, she marched out of Regina’s apartment. Regina’s rebellion caused a rage within her soul. She did not work this hard to give Regina the life she has to have her throw it away for some poor orphan. She knew her daughter would listen to her, she just needed a bit of tough love to do so. 

She couldn’t handle it anymore. Regina turned off her light and threw herself onto her bed. She had no energy to change into pyjamas, much less to take off the makeup she wore. She shoved all of the clothing and bags she had on her bed onto the floor. She laid on her comforter crying until exhaustion took mercy on her and finally pulled her into a restless slumber. 

Sure enough the next day Emma was being called into the Dean’s office. He made up a bogus excuse as to why she had broken the school’s code of ethics and why she was being kicked out. The whole thing was clearly Cora’s work. She wasn’t surprised, but she wasn’t worried either. She had a plan. Today she would break the lease on her apartment and quit her job. For tomorrow she and Regina had a plane to catch. Tomorrow would be the start of their lives together. Tomorrow she would give the woman of her dreams a diamond ring. All that was left to do now was to pack and wait for tomorrow to arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will continue our flashback!


	3. Where it all fell apart

\--------------------------------------Flashback Continued------------------------------------------

After letting herself into her apartment she found Regina waiting for her by the couch. It wasn’t odd for her girlfriend to randomly drop by, but she expected the other woman to be busy packing. “Hey babe, what are you doing here? Are you already packed?”

“Emma, we need to talk.” Regina sat on the couch fidgeting with her hands. She kept interlocking her fingers, a nervous habit she had never been able to kick. She spoke to Emma unable to look her in the eyes. How could she break the heart of the only person she had ever loved? How could she tell her that this was for the best, that she was saving her from future heartbreak? If she was honest with herself she would have realized she wasn’t being the selfless hero she was making herself out to be. She would recognize that she was a young girl that never got past the fear of her mother’s threats. But she didn’t dare think those thoughts, she was older now, things were different. 

“Regina?” Emma took one look at Regina’s face and immediately she was frightened. She knew that look. That look of guilt on her face. It was the exact look that her first family had before they returned her. The look they gave her when they told her that they were having a child. She didn’t understand then. She told them how excited she was to have a sibling, and their response was to gaze upon her with more pity in their eyes. It was then that she learned not to trust anyone, not to let anyone in. And she hadn’t, not until Regina. Yet here she stood with  _ that  _ look in her eyes. 

Regina didn’t know how to say it, so she needed to just spit it out. She took a deep breathtaking everything in before she destroyed the one relationship she cared for the most in this world.  _ Please forgive me, my love.  _ “I can’t go to New York with you. I won’t go. My life is here. I can’t drop everything for you.” She stopped fidgeting with her hands and crossed her arms across her chest. She hoped that it made her appear stronger against Emma - more defiant, but in reality, the action was an attempt to protect herself. She knew she would tear Emma apart with this, all Regina could do was to try and close herself off and hope none of Emma’s residual damage bounced off to herself. It was selfish - she knew it. But she was letting Emma go for her own good, didn’t that allow her to be a little selfish? 

Emma zoned out for a moment. Hearing Regina’s words, it instantly took her back to when she was three and the Nolans were trying to tell her that she was not wanted- not when they were about to have Neal. The tears that pooled at Emma’s eyes then reflected the same pain today. Only now it was much worse. This was Regina, the love of her life, the woman she was about to propose to - it was she who didn’t want Emma anymore. “What? Regina? What are you saying? What about everything we had planned?”

“Don’t you realize how selfish you are being Emma? I can’t just follow you to another state. I live here. My family is here. My internship is  _ here. _ ”

She didn’t understand. She couldn’t. “But what about all of our dreams together? Regina you always wanted to leave this place behind!” They had spent months talking about a future, a future where they were far from here and they were together. They were happy. They spent months making plans, surely Regina couldn’t have changed her mind so soon? The look in her eyes whenever they talked about the future, Regina’s eyes always shone with hope. It was as if a future with Emma was a dream come true - something that she always wished for but never believed she would have. Every time Emma saw that look in Regina’s eyes, it was she who felt like she was living a dream. For Emma finally found herself a home. 

“No Emma, that was always you. You were just projecting your dreams onto me. But your dreams are just that,  _ yours.  _ This isn’t what I want. I can’t be with you anymore. Goodbye Emma.”  _ Please don’t hate me. I will always love you.  _ Regina got one last look at Emma before turning her back on their life together. Except she could have done without seeing the look of utter betrayal on Emma’s face. It was pure devastation. Regina turned and began to walk away.  _ I did this.  _ As she wiped away the tears that were falling from her eyes at lightning speed. Knowing that she caused her love so much pain? Well, it was as if she had stabbed a knife through her own heart. 

“Regina! Regina wait!” Similar to three-year-old Emma, she ran out the door calling after her parents. Except instead of the Nolans, this time she was begging Regina to stay. Begging her to realize that this was a mistake and that she was in fact actually wanted. Why wasn’t she ever wanted? Was there something that everyone else saw that she was blind to? There had to be something wrong with her that everyone else knew about, there had to be a reason that no one ever stayed. 

Answering without turning around she shouted down the hall, “Go back inside Emma. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.” She couldn’t turn back. If she turned back now she would throw herself into Emma’s arms. This would have been all for naught.  _ This is for Emma. She is better off without you. Do this for Emma.  _ She knew she had to distance herself from Emma to save her from incurring Cora’s wrath any further. Emma already had a hard life as it was, she didn’t need Regina’s mother causing her any more trouble. Regina would do this for Emma even if it meant ripping her own heart out in the process. Love is sacrifice, is it not? With every step she took distancing herself from the love of her life, she kept reminding herself why she was doing this. This was all for Emma. Regina wouldn’t be selfish. She wouldn’t hold Emma down. She would let the woman go even if it meant destroying herself in the process. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m sorry you did what?!” Kathryn couldn’t understand how Regina could be so calm about this. She jumped up from the chair she had occupied and began to pace back and forth trying to make sense of the mess her best friend had made. 

Regina was prepared for this. She told the blonde what she had been telling herself on repeat ever since she left Emma devastated in that hallway. “It’s for the best Kathryn. I told you what my mother said. It’s for her own good.”

“Regina Mills how dare you? How dare you decide what’s best for her. Admit it, you are scared. You are scared because Emma Nolan is the love of your life and she wants to start a life together with you. A real life. You are using Cora as an excuse!” Kathryn listened to her friend go on and on about her relationship with Emma. The two were clearly in love. It would have been quite annoying hearing Regina constantly talking about her perfect relationship, had it not been for how happy Kathryn was for the two of them. Hearing that Regina suddenly just let this go? She didn’t buy a word of what Regina was telling her. 

“So what if I am scared? So what if every moment I spend with Emma makes my heart feel like its going to burst out of my chest?! I am terrified when I am with her. Aren’t I supposed to feel safe with someone I love? Kathryn this is for the best.” In Regina’s despair, she turned to her best friend - anger. She shouted at Kathryn hoping that her harsh delivery of her words would somehow make her friend understand. This really was for the best. It had to be. 

“Oh my gosh, you don’t get it! You are terrified because you are afraid of losing her. Yes, you should feel safe, which I know that’s how Emma makes you feel. You’ve told me that a million times. It should be so scary that you never want it to stop. Wake up, Regina. You need her. You love her. I know Cora’s threats don’t really scare you. Because you and Emma can work it out, without Cora’s help or money.” She didn’t buy Regina’s words for one second. In those countless conversations the best friends had about Regina’s relationship, the brunette would often share with her the plans the young couple held about running away together. Away from this small town, away from Cora’s grasp, and truly start lives of their own. As the pair came closer to graduating the dream seemed to become more of a reality with each passing day. 

She closed her eyes and faced the facts. “You’re right,'' it was said in such a whisper yet the words were out there. 

“I’m sorry?” Kathryn stopped her pacing to face her best friend. She knew she would get through to Regina eventually, she just never thought she would be able to do it so quickly. 

Now that she had acknowledged the truth, she had more confidence behind her words. She stood from her spot on the bed and rushed to her best friend. “Kathryn, you are right! We have to get to the airport. Take me to the airport now!” Regina grabbed her jacket and was out of the front door faster than Kathryn could comprehend. It took her a second to catch up, but within a minute the duo were seated in Kathryn’s car ready to catch a certain blonde. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Kathryn, can’t you drive any faster? Our plane is supposed to leave in half an hour. She can’t leave without me, I already broke up with her yesterday! If she gets on that plane without me- I don’t even know. It just can’t happen.” She hated this. She hated that all she could do was to sit in the car and wait to arrive. Her future with the love of her life was at stake. Surely she could do more than just sit and wait. 

“Why don’t you call her?”

“Oh geez! What a smart idea. Why didn’t I think of that? Of course, I’ve called her. Her calls keep going straight to voicemail!” Really she didn’t mean to snap at her friend, but the situation was getting to her. They were on a race against the clock and her adrenaline was running high. She couldn’t help but think of the worst. Think of a heartbroken Emma boarding the plane by herself, forced to look at the empty seat which Regina should have occupied. If Emma didn’t loathe her already, the empty seat would surely solidify Emma’s hatred. 

“Okay, I know you are very emotional right now so I’m going to let the bitchiness slide. But seriously, I’m only trying to help Regina!”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

The rest of the drive was made in complete silence. Kathryn was driving like a maniac trying to get to the airport in time. It didn’t help that the airport was in the next town over. Meanwhile, Regina kept trying Emma’s number over and over. Even when she received a notification that Emma’s mailbox was full, she continued to dial the number. 

“We’re here. Go!” Regina didn’t wait for the car to stop moving before she ran into the airport. She completely disregarded her bag and everything else besides her phone and her ticket. She had a plane to catch. Nothing was more important than that. 

But this was real life, it wasn’t a movie. She didn’t get the girl. 

She ran to the right terminal and she was greeted with the view of a plane flying off. The plane that was supposed to transport Regina and Emma to the start of their lives together. Her heart was on that plane and with every second that passed, her chance at happiness drifted further and further away from her. It was then that the dam broke. She didn’t care that she was standing in a very public place. Regina just started balling her eyes out then and there. The woman who was scared to show emotion in any situation was having a very public breakdown. But she didn’t care. She only cared about Emma. Emma who was on a plane alone. She was supposed to be with her- their story could not end like this. 

She didn’t know how long she spent crying at the airport. She didn’t know how she ended up back home in her bed, only Kathryn could tell you that. She did know that her heart was broken. She felt like her world had just shattered. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn’t until a week that Kathryn was able to get actual words out of Reigna. The woman had spent a week in bed refusing to see her friend. Eventually, Kathryn broke into the house to see her friend. She wasn’t crying in her bed anymore, but she wasn’t back to her usual self either. 

She could clearly see her friend, she was laying on her bed covered in blankets. As though Regina could make a barrier between the world and her bed, finding solace in her personal cocoon. “So that’s it? Why don’t you catch a flight and go to her? Why don’t you call her some more?”

Regina didn’t bother looking up to meet her friend. She honestly hadn’t heard her come in. Not that she was surprised though, she knew it was only a matter of time before Kathryn came looking for her. “Don’t you get it? If we were meant to be together I would have made that flight! I wouldn’t have missed her. She didn’t pick up a single one of my calls. I’m sure she blocked my number. It’s better this way. She has started to move on and clearly that is what I need to do as well.” The depth of her words called for passion, yet Regina spoke in monotone. She spoke to her friend in a robotic tone, as she couldn’t gather any emotion to display. Emotions hurt too much, but this numbness she had found? Numb was safe. 

“Regina no, can’t you see that you are making a huge mistake?” She tore the blankets that Regina had wrapped herself in. She needed to get her out of the bed and she needed to listen to her. 

Where Kathryn expected anger from her friend, she was met with a robotic Regina. “I’m not. I’m really not. It’s for the best. We clearly weren’t meant to be together or else it wouldn’t be this hard.” She quietly answered her friend as she snatched the blankets back from her. She tucked herself back into the safety of the cocoon turning her back on her friend, silently signifying that she was done talking. 

“If this is really your decision then fine. I have no choice but to accept it. It’s not like I can force you onto a plane to New York. I just hope you really know what you are doing.” She didn’t know what else to do except to leave her friend alone. Perhaps time would bring the brunette to her senses, yet Kathryn knew better than to hope for this. Regina was stubborn, extremely so that she was surprised she even got the woman to the airport in the first place. Kathryn understood that trying to change Regina’s mind now would be a lost cause. As she left her friend she knew in her heart that she was making a mistake, but there was nothing she could do for the brunette now. 

There was no one around to hear it, but perhaps Regina needed this reassurance, “This is for the best.” Saying it aloud was supposed to make it real, but as soon as Regina’s ears heard her own words she knew that not even she could believe the lie she kept repeating. 


	4. The Start of the Truth

\------------------------------------ Present Day --------------------------------------------------

Emma took in the words she had been subconsciously wanting to hear for years. “You really came after me?” She had to blink back the tears that fought so hard to escape. Any of that anger she held towards Regina completely dissipated. She now knew she had no right to be angry. 

For neither of the woman could be really put to blame. Yet perhaps they were both to blame? They both held a part in destroying the most beautiful relationship that either had ever seen. 

“I did!” Regina let out a hearty chuckle. Throwing her head back and the image of her and the blonde speeding to the airport. “You should have seen Kathryn. She was driving like a maniac!” 

Emma joined her companion in a hearty laugh. Until the two trailed off leaving the weight of reality upon their chests. They were left without anger to bestow upon the other. A stream of steady what ifs? flew threw the two women. “Wow, I wish I would have known that.” For everything would have been different had Emma known that Regina eventually tried to follow. 

Regina picked up on the severity of the conversation, while it was a conversation that was years in the making, she was a bit upset by their dynamic. They were  _ Regina and Emma,  _ they shouldn’t be so bad. Everything was always better when the two were with each other. She shot her love a wink and attempted to lighten the mood, “Known what? That Kathryn is a bad driver?”

Without fail, the brunette brought upon that beautiful smile that she so loved to see on the blonde woman. Emma playfully smacked Regina’s arm, “She can’t be worse than you Gina!” The hand that had just hit Regina in jest, was now gently caressing the brunette's arm. “But I meant you following me to the airport. You pulled a Ross to my Rachel!”

“I really did. But we both didn’t get to the girl in time.” She let out a rueful chuckle. How everything could have been different if she had just got there in time. Perhaps then Emma and she would be living in this beautiful town together. She would have the wonderful woman sitting in front of her. She would be able to breathe again. If only she hadn’t been so scared. If only she hadn’t been so stubborn. If only she had been there sooner.

Out of her musings, Regina was left with an important thought, “Though Ross did have a better chance than I did. I couldn’t leave you a message.” It was sad without malice, merely a fact being stated.

“Yeah. About that,” Emma cupped the back of her neck with the palm of her hand, a nervous trait that the brunette observed her love still held. “I was so mad at you the next morning. I had spent the whole night expected you to call or show up at my door, and when you didn’t, I just got so mad at you. I blocked your number. I didn’t want anything to do with you. It was a rash decision. But I was young and stupid.”

Regina looked at the other woman sadly. She couldn’t be mad at Emma. Not when she spent so many years mad at herself for her past mistakes. “We both were Emma.”

The two shared a set of identical pained smiles. Smiles of forgiveness. Smiles filled with regret. The intensity of their gazes were so intense that the buzzing that emanated from Emma’s pocket caused both women to jump in surprise. 

It took Emma a few moments to tear her eyes away from the chocolate orbs that completely captivated her. “I'm sorry one second.” 

The brunette just nodded, allowing herself this time to unabashedly stare at Emma while the other woman was preoccupied. Her heart sank as she witnessed Emma’s bright smile quickly morph into a deep frown. Anger blazed within her, completely angry at anyone who brought any sort of unhappiness upon her Emma. 

Emma quickly leapt off the bench, gently holding Regina’s arms in her own, encouraging the other woman to stand as well. “Gina I have to go. Like now. I’m getting a 911 from Soph. Meet me at the station tomorrow morning?”

“Yes, of course, go!”

Emma smiled at Regina once more before running to the diner. It was important, it had to be. She told Sophia only to use 911 when there was a real emergency. A text or call like that from Sophia and both she and Ruby would come running. It was over-the-top protective, but what else could you expect from a Sheriff? Plus with Ruby’s and Sophia’s past, they couldn’t be too cautious. 

Completely out of breath Emma went running into the diner. Her adrenaline was pumping and she was ready for whatever. Except what she was met with was Sophia happily drinking a milkshake in a booth. That and the inquisitive stares of every other patron wondering what was going on that warranted their Sherif to be so concerned. 

“Soph, what’s wrong? Please tell me there was a reason you called me 911.”

So maybe she didn’t think this entirely through. Sophia looked at Emma with eyes full of sorrow. “I just needed you away from her! She hurt you Ma!” 

“Sophia!” Emma pinched the bridge of her nose between her two fingers trying to alleviate the sudden throbbing in her head. “I told you to  **never** say there was an emergency if there really wasn’t one!” She started pacing back and forth in front of the booth, trying to both come up with the right words and calm the anger that was burning in her stomach. The relief that washed over her at seing Soph safe was soon replaced with anger. Deciding it was best to calm herself she turned to Soph, “actually, you know what? Stay right there.”

Emma walked away from the booth to the back of the diner in search of Ruby. It was a conversation that they should all be having together. She found the woman she was looking for and dragged her by the arm to the front of the restaurant. 

“Emma? What the hell?”

Before Ruby could question Emma some more they pair were standing in front of Sophia’s booth. “Ask your daughter what she did.” If were possible Soph would have slipped further into the booth, trying to use the table to hide from the blonde’s disappointment. 

Ruby looked towards Emma, “What? What’s going on?”

Emma glanced at Soph, inviting Ruby to follow her line of sight. “Go on, ask her.”

It was then that Ruby took in her daughter’s tear-filled eyes. Her rosy cheeks adorned with freshly fallen tears.“Soph, what is Emma talking about?”

The tears now fell more quickly than the last. Emma’s frustration no doubt fueling Soph’s tears. For what child liked reprimand? Sophia really didn’t expect this all to go so badly. She just wanted Emma away from the woman so she wouldn’t hurt her anymore. “I’m sorry!” she sobbed out looking at Emma. She turned to Ruby and filled her in. 

Emma sat down in the booth and urged Ruby to do the same. “I get both of you were just trying to protect me - and I love both of you for it. But I don’t need you to protect me from Regina. We both made mistakes. I know I made her out to be the bad guy, but apparently I didn’t have the whole story.”

Ruby placed a hand upon Emma’s, her eyes wide with this new revelation. “Wait what, Em, what are you talking about?”

“We were actually talking some of it out before Soph called me.” At that, she took the opportunity to give Soph another look of reprimand. “Regina went after me. She tried catching me at the airport. She called.” Emma shook her head in regret as she thought of her words. A few small sobs escaped as she no longer could hold them back, “she called so many times, but I had already blocked her number!” Emma cried at her stupidity. Her years of anguish were all for naught. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been forever. I'm sorry life has been completely chaotic. I'm still here though! I know this is short, but hopefully, I will be able to write more soon.


End file.
